3.10.2024 Today, It’s My Choice
0803 Woke up feeling good this morning. It’s a rainy, blustery day. I found the list of all the traits I want in a guy when I was in high school—22 years ago and tucked it in with this journal. As many times as I’ve moved in those 22 years, the things that are meant to be with me somehow find a way. Yet I know I’m not in a good place for a relationship and they suggest being single for the first year. I need to figure out who I am. The recovery discovery to be sappy about it.
I decide to write down the first five things I can think of to be gratitude.
1) Second, third, million chances to become a better person
2) Rainy days
3) My family
4) My new apartment
5) The chance to learn who I am and find peace with myself, recovering from shame and my fears of abandonment
“at some time in the past we’ve made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt (AA pg 62). In the past I played a part in the way my life had turned over…this realization and acceptance created a dramatic change in my outlook, and this is when the AA program began to work for me. I had always blamed others for my circumstances, feeling like I never had a choice to alter my life. My decisions had been based on fear, pride, ego, leading me down a path of self-destruction. Today, I try to allow my God to guide me on the road to sanity. I am responsible for my action or inaction—whatever the consequences may be”.
I feel led to do a Shamanic Dream Oracle reading, and the following cards jump out.
Closing Door Doors closing, need to stop knocking and trust in the Divine timing (the boys).
Stranger (Curiosity) be open to new paths, ideas, way of being even if it seems foreign
Crossing (Initiation) Time to say good-bye to my old way of navigating the world
Dream Thief “Teaching from an old wound will never allow you a new adventure” You have new stories to rely on and build upon. You are so much more than you know. It’s time to express what has lain dormant. Your new adventure has already begun.
Deep Diver Look beyond the surface of things for your answer. Let your intuition propel you into the water, allowing memories and your emotions to well up as you face the unknown.
My curiosity will be my greatest guide
